When the Jowa draws you away from God

“Kapag ako nagka-jowa, who you kayo lahat sa akin!” 

(Filipino slang is hard to translate but I’ll try haha! –‘If I’ll have a partner, I’ll get back to you with who you’s – meaning you’re going to regret teasing me in the first place)

This has been common Filipino knee-jerk reaction when people tease single people. Some might hit back with more teasing – either to ride on jokes, or to come in defense of one’s self. 

But no doubt, our culture has elevated having partners – as the nirvana of life. If you have one, you have everything (and we all know, that isn’t true). 

The kiligs and thrills of being loved and having someone to love are some of the things we must be truly grateful for, because the Author of Love created it.  But at the same time, because we are fallen creatures, we can use something that was intended for our good, in a bad way. 

After years of being discipled, and discipling others, I have seen a some form of common thread among single Christian women (or maybe even of single men) – when the jowa (slang for boyfriend/girlfriend) does not love God, the other person tends to walk away from the Light, from Christ. 

——-

The bitter pill & the writer’s ill

Solomon had many different partners and God warned him, that they soon, “will surely turn your hearts after their gods” (1 Kings 11:2). Solomon, though dubbed as the wisest king, fell prey to this particular area in his life.

 The power of partners to influence should never be underestimated.  The one you frequently text, have coffee with, talk to, can and will change the trajectory of your life- for good or for worse. 

I write this because I know I have  treaded this path.  Like other marupoks powhz (fragile women), I got drawn away. —And when the jowa does draw you away from God, you may see apparent symptoms: 

1. You begin to compromise. 

While compromise can be a virtue (term I hear mostly from married couples), by compromise, I mean here, is the deliberate and wilful practice of what is clearly not God’s will. 

The truth is, leaving the faith is not an overnight thing, it is a gradual one, fuelled by series of compromises. We are only mocking our Lord, if we turn a blind eye and continue to believe that hidden sins remain hidden. Compromise means our vices had become virtues. And it is not the best place to be in.

2. Delight in God becomes duty.  

Obviously,  the more you rub elbows, the more you finish each other’s sentences, the other’s practical atheism also rubs on – and that can result to a loss in appetite for spiritual things. Prayer becomes a last resort, the church becomes the first thing to avoid, and God is tragically crossed off the priority list. 

3. Alienation from God’s people. 

Because the possibilities of romance are endless, accountability is held loose, the community of faith is made optional, and godly counsel is unwelcomed – simply because it is not preferred.

—

I was once in a relationship that did not glorify my Lord, my God, my Creator, my Redeemer. Like most of us, I  didn’t want to be told what to do.

But.

Looking back, I have known that the loving hand of God, was both gentle and firm. Gentle enough to affirm me, and firm enough to rebuke me. 

I have had many traumas before where I felt the shame of my decision. But as Jerry Bridges puts it, “Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.” Yes, this applies to you and me!

———

I would like to encourage my fellow un-married lads and ladies. Here are steps you can take if you/your jowa are drawn away from God because of the relationship:

1. Pray

To pray means to commune with God. Because he wants to hear us, what’s in our heart, what’s in our mind. In prayer, we can be honest with the Lord.

“Lord, like ko siya, pero di Ka niya like, ottoke!?” (Korean for: what should I do now?!)

You might be surprised how God would answer you: through His Word, through a friend, or through a preaching. Expect to hear, because He desires to guide us.

2. Involve Him

Since God is the author of relationships, it is only right to involve Him. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do (like having a jowa), do it all for the glory of God.” Yes girl!!

3. If drawn away, then draw near. 

James 4:8a Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. (What an awesome promise this is!)

Hebrews 7:25 Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.

—

It is a lovely thing, to see lads and ladies, delight in the gift of relationships, without being lured away from God.

You go do it right.

You go enjoy it, for the glory of God!