4 Things I learned at 24

Twenty-four is the number and it is a  year of in-between’s and getting-there’s. So here are 4 things I learned at 24:

1. Sail through your sorrows

One undeniable trait most millennials share is that they are truly wild free dreamers. While this is commendable in itself, it poses a great threat if one is unable to handle problems well. The gap between the expectation and reality can be so big that if things do not go well as they should, it could lead to a lot of frustrations. These frustrations can eventually gain momentum paving way for chronic sadness or a never fleeting sorrow.

You cannot and will not get what you want.

People disappoint and will disappoint you.

Your application has been and will be denied.

She rejected you. He forgot you. 

Your family hurt and will hurt you.

We never plan our sorrows. We are but a boat on the sea of problems, rocking through the rippling waves of sorrows.  You need not drown in them, only sail through them. I have learned that we just need to learn how to harness the power of the waves to get you to where you should be. Waves create movement, so move and do not stagnate. Be an effective user of your sorrow and pain. Do not waste it, for it makes you a good sailor. Sail through your sorrows.

2. Savor the moment and sift through the pages

To savor the moment means to taste and see the goodness of life. It means momentarily pausing to the beauty of the sunset, or grasping for breath when you see her beauty. To savor the moment means being grateful of whatever your situation may be and it means being thankful of wherever you are right now. Savoring the moment causes us to intentionally remember the details to the best that we can for future recall’s sake.

To sift through the pages means understanding first that our lives are divided in seasons, in pages, in chapters and in moments. It’s to acknowledge that things will not always be the same. The constance of change is evident in our circumstances, through the people around us and within ourselves. For some, it means forgiving and forgetting the offenses the guy has caused you or just simply letting arguments go. It’s this silent sifting through the next page, that we know we are moving on and growing up.

Yes, you can both savor and sift. It just means knowing when to dwell and when to move on. It means being in the moment but not for too long.It means moving to the next chapter without forgetting the eternity of the previous moment.

3. Surrender your self-will

We possess a fallen nature and so we are not excused from being uncaring, thoughtless, egocentric or selfish. We have been taught to achieve more and to gain more. Surrendering is an unlikely move a rational person can do. No loving parent will ever tell you to forget your Ivy-league applications. No concerned friend will ever encourage you to defer your aspirations. No one.

But in the school of life, I have learned that sometimes, losing is a precursor to gaining. I have learned that  surrendering is a liberating act. It’s a good gauge to see if you still have full control over your life.

And oh, for the record, you can let go of your anger. Anger is self-will exercised with loads of pride in it. You can surrender your anger. Yes, you have the remote, the control button, the authority over what and how you feel. Anger doesn’t have to ‘have’ you. You can opt to let it go, you know.

Surrendering means hoping – hoping that if you give up something you’ll end up gaining at the end of it. It may mean surrendering your idle time on Facebook to devote it to reading real books. It may mean, surrendering your momentary outburst of wanting to resign to focus on giving your best despite your inner struggles. It may mean surrendering your ambitions for a greater cause.  It can mean different things to different people, yet the theme of ‘giving up something for another’ is universal.

Surrender and you win.

4. Serve soul-fully 

The world has had enough of heartless and unthinking workers. Do not be part of the zombie workforce who just get by, and who just wait for the clock to strike at 5. Serve with emotional energy and intellectual rigor. Feel and think. Do not just serve because you were told to, serve because you feel and think.

To serve means to be generous with your time, money and effort – all three inseparable. Be excellent, because you are called to do so. To serve soulfully means giving your best. The world deserves nothing less, so do not deprive them of such a thing as you.